I'm looking for a Job (Sort of...)

As the title says, I'm in the process of a job search. To be perfectly honest, I haven't really worked hard enough to find one and I think I am more in the habit of finding myself. If that even makes sense. I recently graduated from university, have this expensive-ass piece of paper to show for it and I really don't know myself? Is that even allowed at my age? For some people, this might not be acceptable because at my age, you're expected to have some degree of success in your life especially someone with my skills. But in this world it's the people you know and the relationships you have that help you get along in life. Somebody who doesn't have "connections" or "links" (Jamaicans know) don't have a huge chance at success. They have to try much harder to find their way. Our world just isn't really made for "hard workers" to make it. Only those who are somehow involved in big things actually "make it." It never surprises me how a perfectly capable person who has a college degree is driving a taxi or a bus.

Movies

Here's a list of stuff I want to see:

Creature from the Black Lagoon
Frankenstein 1970.
Feminist horror films

I need motivation

I have no reason except that I've been stalking other blogs to feel like blogging. I'm in a desperately out of loop mood and all I've been doing is watching TV shows, taking the TTC, or basically fulfilling my basic needs. I need to look for a job soon. or at least work more on my Grad school applications which is a daunting task.

I'm sad and it's because of distance. I wish it would go away

I really wish I could compose myself, make a better routine, develop personally in the best way I see fit and learning. Isn't learning what life is all about anyway?

Anyways enough about me.

I watched some shows lately for entertainment. I feel selfish about it because there's so much suffering in our real lives, so much heartbreak and hurt. I want to just wash it all away.

Why I don't usually speak my mind

I can be a cold bitch. I will tell you that you are a douchebag without even fully knowing who you are and judge you by only the way I have seen you behave around me and others. To be honest, I am a cold bitch and to be a cold bitch is to be honest. I think it takes alot of courage to speak your mind even if you only have bad things to say because contrary to the saying "don't speak if you don't have something nice to say," I don't think it's wrong to say what you think. The whole premise of not saying something because its not nice is just a means to avoid hurting a person. You know what though, I think it's okay to hurt someone as long as it is constructive in some way to the deliverer or recipient. That's generally all I have to say.

Reminder to myself

Learn some sorta graphic/architectural design thing so you can draw up spiffy designs

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