Contradictions

I guess no one likes to think that they live in a life full of contradictions. But its so true. Theres little room to doubt this. At least I know it personally that I contradict myself even if it's unconsciously its always there. I could say I hate people who party and don't want to bitch about it. But just saying all of that is a contradiction in that I do bitch about it by saying I hate those people. Maybe its a bad example but you can get the general idea.

I dunno I may be way too self conscious for my own good. But I'm sure there's so many other ways I contradict myself. For example, taking environmental studies and not buying coffee in a reuseable tumbler all the time or like not making use of the one I have, which I don't carry around with me, cause I'm lazy. Also I don't limit my spending on clothes. There's a big thing about consumerism in the current day and in environmental studies. But I don't budget myself really when I go shopping I just buy whatever I like. I also buy from Wal-Mart and Gap and Old-Navy, ummm American Eagle, H&M etc all those stores but don't mind what people tell me about the sweat shops. Also I honestly think I'm too careless when it comes to recyclables. I buy up so much plastic bottles whenever I want to drink something its ridiculous how much I accumulate after a week. Anyways. I guess all I'm saying is that learn to accept your flaws, your contradictions, learn to be wary of them and not to take them to heart. At least not in a terribly harsh manner. Don't feel like you have to be bashed on because of anything. I really don't see the use in that.

Well after thinking a while, I think I may be skipping out on an exam on Monday in order to do other work. There is so much to do around this time it's ridiculous especially writing fucking papers, which SUCK. sigh, I'm going to fail it anyway.

Me nah know. Call it wah you want.

Everyone's so convinced that slavery was abolished in 1834 or whenever it was. Forgive me if I'm inaccurate. But really, at least in a current day sense, it exists today. Yes all. We live in a time of slavery, despite that it isn't as prevalent and as oppresive. Still, it's oppressive in certain ways. But it isn't like people are being auctioned and treated like merchandise anymore.Them don't get treated in a humane manner, like animals, which I don't think are being treated right either. But thats a totally different issue right there. I digress. My point is that we're all slaves. Slaves why? Because we all have to live a conformist society. Come on. Be real. We do. At one point in our lives, we have been forced even if with a conscious mind, to conform, to live with it, to be accepting of what is put in front of us, to not have a fucking *choice.* And I've been told over and over, "you always have a choice" Well... choice, yeah you do have a choice most of the time. But honestly, who's going to give you a choice when. Here i'll give you a scenario out of the top of my confused and messed up mind:


You're pregnant, and i'm not gonna make this directed at just ladies. Your girlfriend is pregnant. It wasn't expected. Something happened and it can't be reversed really. Not less you wanna abort the kid. But what if you're firmly against this? Do you have a choice then? You can't just say you don't want the kid. You don't have a fucking choice, but to keep her/him/it. Whatever. What does one do in that situation? Does one really have a choice in the matter? How do you cope? Change your mind and abort it anyway? Keep the kid? Put it up for adoption? It's going to vary person to person. I know I sound like I'm demeaning towards kids. I'm not a kid person, as I don't believe in populating the world with more than it can take. Its a logic to me, and I'm a firm follower in controlling overpopulation and that kinda thing. You know.

Anyways I suppose I've kinda gone a tad far from proving my point. We are slaves, we are forced to believe that the ideal life is to grow up in a 2-parent opposite sex family, go to school, finish college, grow up and go to work. Then find a mate, get married and have kids. Go on vacations with kids, work, and work, grow old, and duh Die. You get my point. The general view of things need to be changed. That's why we need to embrace differences and abnormalities. Be open! Be a person who thinks outside of the box. Think of yourself in another's shoes. Just be you, and be aware, be conscious and fucking ALIVE.

I think our society's so twisted and strange and boring and shit that damnit it bothers me more and more everyday!!! I feel like we, the youth, the old, anyone, needs to do something about this. I don't want to impose values on anyone, and I'm sure there's lots that being done to fix our society's problems. But I also dream of an ideal world for myself that others may not necessarily agree with. I'm too idealistic for my own good I'm aware. But it's ok to have ideals and your values. Its the blood and flesh and bone that keeps you alive and going everyday. Being able to walk and talk and do things is due to having a purpose. There would nothing in our world if not for the things we believe in, which is why we see results, especially in the technological realm. Well no not that those people, but you get the general idea.

My rambles lead me no where I think. Except to a point where I have no conclusion :) It's all fine and dandy. Questions without answers are okay in my book.

Something I need to share!

A 3,000-mile walk and an incredible time-lapse video

This is such a beautiful story and such a wonderful idea! I think Christopher Rehage i hope i spelt his name right is so genius for doing this, especially in documenting his journey in the way he did. It inspires the rest of us to pursue travel and explore new lands and new ideas! I love this!!!! Hope people will be inspired as well :)

@ 19 Days

Locs :)

Hmmmmmm well it is now day 21 or 22 but yeah. I've been slacking off lately cause of not waxing. And I'm seeing lots of people on campus and around the streets with locs. It makes me so jealous to see the mature ones! Damnit I just can't wait for mine to get long and all lovely! It'd come in good time I know :) Lately, there's not much inspiration for me to do anything really. Especially with all the work for school and other kind of administrative stuff.

But i did see Alice in Wonderland! It was good. Not great, but good. I would recommend it but I'm not hugely excited about it, seeing as it was fairly mediocre. I'm not trying to bash on it or make it seem like it sucked, cause it didn't. Its good for aesthetic entertainment, but otherwise I don't see the big deal and hype about it. Guess its been overrated.

Fuck haters!

Dealing with hate and incompetence. Boy what a touchy subject! But hey, we all have to deal with it at some point in our lives. I know I definately have. I tend to get depressed easily and especially sensitive to those kinda things. Its not a nice road to trot on I can tell you that! Anyways, just a random thought I need to take note of.

Why I want and now have "locs"

Got them on the 27th of Feb 2010. That's how they looked on the day I got them. They're really fuzzy.

There's several reasons for wanting to get locs:

1. The way they look. I absolutely adore the fact that they've given my hair life! (If its not too much to put it like that) I mean I look at them and compare to when I had normal hair and I notice such a difference that it makes. My hope is that it doesn't change my personality too much or too drastically.

2. Cultural bond to Jamaican roots. Come on. Like really. Come on! I can't simply ignore the fact I'm uncommonly the product of such a lively interesting country. The locs just "represent" if I may say so.

3. They deny the stereotype. Helps me to overcome dbag ignorant aholes who don't know any betta and waan come up to me tell me bout ching chong foolishness. Its a early thing that I've taken with me into adulthood and i suppose that i haven't quite let go of it. So I've decided that they're a good way of helping being a unique individual and finding my true self. Its a complicated issue but its an ongoing search I think others also take on. The locs (I won't call them dreads because to rastas "dread" translates into to fear the Lord) are a way for me to mix up my culture a bit. I like how its like I'm a walking contradiction because I can be on the streets and traditional asian people can look at me and turn heads and be like 'wtf' hahahaha. Anyways yeah it's kinda hard to explain. I want to look like I have a respect for culture basically. Take it how you want

I'm well-aware I'm racist towards certain groups and individuals. Just to clarify.

A likkle rant

1. Why do people not want to separate their garbage when they recycle?!?!?! Especially when they can separate it in a room where it is basically laid out for them: Glass, Plastics, Cardboard, Newspapers + Clippings etc. I honestly don't see the reason why I have to encounter a Macdonalds cup in the glass section, when the paper/garbage section is in the same room. It just doesn't amaze me how lazy people can get, even with the most easy and unavoidable things.
2. Leaving the light on. Is it that hard to just turn it off whenever you don't use it? Admittedly, I personally do this at times but I've noticed that people do it because they're lazy. Here's another example of how people being unaware about energy consumption and the environment behave. But who cares anyways? Not many people, at least in my opinion.
3. "Green" everything! It has been becoming a recent fad that people use the label green to mean its something good, and may contribute to the welfare of the environment. I however see it as another marketing scam. Do you honestly have to believe everything people say nowadays?

Things on my mind

So theres been alot going on in my life at this point, and I'm finding it fairly hard to cope with so I suppose that blogging might help be therapeutic in some way. I'm tired as I write this, but theres some things I should get off my chest. First of all has to do with prejudices and stereotypes. Is there seriously no better way for people to cope with their discomforts? I mean I can understand that people's bad experiences with others of a particular group could negatively influence their perceptions, but is it really necessary to have things like hate crimes and racism in the world? How hard is it for anyone to just accept things as it? I'm sure the majority of people do but it bothers me lately how the way people formulate their beliefs can have an affect on the person they try to disciminate and isolate... Anyways thinking of it in that way makes you depressed so I'm not even going there.

Another thing on my mind is figuring out what to do with my life. Lately I've been torn between taking up a part-time on-campus, maybe fast food job or pursuing a Certificate in community arts. Its hard for me because of there requires so much more work in doing art and learning about it. But to be honest I can't say I'm not enthusiatic about art and all the things I'm willing to give up in order to fully engage in it. I hope to maybe travel to be inspired, and experience different cultures, I hope to also be able to help others through art, help them to learn. Help people is essentially a thing I've always wanted to do but never got around to. Also I want to feel more self-satisfied with life. What is there to life if you aren't happy with your career right?

So I've noticed my blog is really under the weather nowadays due to Reading Week and being in Indiana for a while. But it wasn't a waste at all. It was good times and spent well rested. Plus my gut was full like ALLL de effing time! Oh wells! I suppose thats all I need to get out there right now. Will blog soon. :)